MATT TROY PART 1

 

 

So a funny thing happened to me. I got an invitation in the mail. It was for a press conference that took place at 4 am at an unmarked warehouse in Vancouver. I had never been invited to a press conference before so I didn’t really know what the protocol was but I mean…4 am? Warehouse? really?  it just seemed a bit-dramatic.

but that was just the beginning. Lucky me!

The next morning there was a knock at my door. Usually I would have pretended I was asleep until they went away but I thought maybe it was Justin Bieber coming to give me a morning kiss so I put on my silk robe and giant sunglasses and headed to the door. When I opened it there was no Justin. Just a giant box with a big pink bow. My initial reaction was that I was being punk’d but then I said to myself..

“that’s ridiculous Peter….they stopped filming Punk’d years ago”

I picked up the box and brought to my room. Inside I found a pair of buffalo platform shoes, a neon orange faux fur jacket, fishnets and a baby t that said “Backdoor” along with a card that said “See You Tonight!

hmmmmm

I had a mix of emotions. I loved the clothes but was worried why they were being sent to me. Surely this outfit was meant for Joey or Berlin. That and “BackDoor” could only mean one thing: Matt Troy

Matt Troy is like one of those little plastic balls you get from the 25 cent machine. It bounces into the room out of no where at incredibly speeds and if you don’t stop it it’ll destroy everything in sight. Hard and unpredictable  yet just charming enough that you just cant stop playing.  I always got the vibe that he would steal my drugs, fuck my boyfriend and then somehow convince me and everyone else that I screwed HIM over. Now that’s magic.

So Matt Troy is having a press conference at 4 am at some warehouse and I’m supposed to dress like baby spice to attend. Thats normal. I hope I still have my drug dealers phone number.

about an hour later I was grabbing a coffee when a headline under a stack of newspapers caught my attention. All I could see was LOCAL PROMOTER. I pulled down the other papers and nearly spit out my coffee when I read the entire headline

LOCAL PROMOTER RUNS FOR MAYOR

It suddenly all made sense. She’s gone full Trump.

TO BE CONTINUED…

 

 

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